I hate yesterday. Hari ambil result spm. I know. So 2000-late but I still cant get over it. Gosh it's been a gazillion years already. I damn well know it's about time to let it go.
It reminded me of the harapan menggunung tinggi, the great expectations.. And of course, the road not taken. One which looked more inviting and so appealing.. Especially now, more than ever.
Wished I had faith in myself to just pursue what you love doing rather than letting the results tailor the future. In my case oh I slacked off Bio so obviously doing medicine is out of the picture. Not that I plan to be a doctor but I loved human Biology - probably could have worked out smthg else from there though. And looks like I did pretty good w other sciences so let's join the crowd, engineering it is. Not bearing in mind that I hated Maths. It's unfortunate the feeling is mutual, maths seemed to hate me too - we never get along well - even until now.
I wished somebody told me SPM really was not everything. I dont know where did I get the idea that I had so much ahead of me, I could be anything, almost unstoppable, just because I had a bag of A1s in tow. Nobody prepared me with the hiccups I'll encounter - there'll be times I'll be let down. Nobody told me things aren't gonna be easy - even good students in high school can really screw up uni. Lol I know these are the things that go without saying, but I felt stupid that I led myself to be blinded by the hopefuls. Of course I knew all these now - yep learned the hard way. Only at the end, disappointing myself way even more than I have disappointed others.
See. How can I even be happy if things like these pun I can't make peace with. By happy I mean like ikhlas kan diri w current being.. Or just simply redha. If that makes sense.
I seriously need to let it go. But the what-ifs are killing me. Forever bergelumang with regrets. For God's sake. Let. It. Go.
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